Recently I've been thinking alot about good gifts and the best gifts. It seems there is a (quickly growing) movement that is kinda lumped into the 'prosperity gospel.' Basically, it says that Jesus wants us to always be healthy/happy, well provided for, and have healthy, great relationships. All the time.
Now, I don't completely disagree. Jesus wants to give us good gifts. Does he want us to constantly be sick, starving, poor, and surrounded by dysfunctional relationships? Absolutely not. But nowhere, ever, did He promise that life would be perfect and struggle-free.
We live in a fallen world. We sin. There is sickness, imperfection, poverty, and weakness everywhere in this world. God empowers us to overcome (through the blood of His Son - not through any power or effort of our own), but that doesn't mean that the consequences of a fallen world disappear.
God desires to give us the BEST gift, not just something we can get by with. Often, though, His definition of 'best' is very different from ours. I know that His 'best' does not mean that everyone will always be wealthy, healthy, and happy. Those are not necessarily bad things, but He tells us to take up our cross daily... that's an instrument of torture. Yes, He gives us grace, peace, joy, and strength for the journey, but never a promise that things will be easy. Never a promise that He will erase every struggle we'll ever encounter. That was never part of the deal.
Sometimes, I think his best is found in the midst of the struggle. How else do we learn perseverance, faith, trust, endurance, and steadfastness? How do we learn to always hold fast to His hand if the path is always easy? How do we know that He is our strength if we never suffer? How do we develop the character He desires us to learn without the lessons? There are refinements that can never happen without the fire.
Working in health care, I think I have an interesting take on health and healing. Modern medicine is a gift, one that I think the Lord uses frequently to heal, minister, and draw others into Himself. Ultimately, though, He is the only true healer. Can He heal without modern medicine? Absolutely. Does He? Often, when we ask, and sometimes when we don't. Will He heal every time we ask? No. He is a sovereign God who's ways are greater, and He cannot be limited to a formula or restricted to our version of absolutes.
My thought is this: sometimes, the greater gift is found in the struggle, in the denial of our request for healing, or in the continued storm, despite our prayer for relief.
When I say that I want His best, I surrender my desire for comfort or ease. Comfort, safety, and security is a stupid request if I have decided to follow the Lord. When I choose to follow Him, it means I follow wherever He leads, whether that be to the desert, the mountains, a place of suffering and struggle, or a place of joy. I don't get to decide. I don't get to say that because I am a servant with given authority I get to pray away every difficulty or struggle or sickness.
I am mortal. His ways are higher and so much greater. I don't want to limit Him by fixating on what I think is best. His best is something far bigger than anything I could imagine, and is sometimes found in ways I can't understand or see. Therefore, my only response is complete surrender. Even when it hurts. Even when it seems like everything is wrong and I can't imagine where the good is. I choose to trust Him and His word above all else.
So, Lord, teach me to walk the path you lay out for me... no matter where it leads. Kill this pride in me that thinks I sometimes know best. I walk in your authority... never in my own. You know best. I choose to trust and walk in that. Mold this heart and this life into what you desire. I am completely yours.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
good gifts and sunshine
so i realize this is a recurrent lesson for me... i tend to learn it repeatedly, each time at new depths (thankfully). but ponder this thought with me:
"Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed." - Francis Chan
while i'm not necessarily a 'worrier' (i tend to be pretty happy/optimistic about, well, everything), i do like to be in control. i would like a plan and a head's up and to know everyone's intentions from the get go. so when i see something that i want or get it in my head that i need something... it tends to sorta stick around. while i do trust - i know that HE is in control and has my best on His heart and mind - it's sometimes tricky for me to fully apply this in a practical sense.
so here i go, stressing that maybe things won't work out the way i think they should. maybe i won't get what i want. maybe i'll be hurt or disappointed in the end. it happens (often, for me, because i so often see people for who i think they were made to be instead of who they are currently. anyways...). but how often am i distracted by what i want? i waste emotional energy wishing, all the while forgetting that my purpose here is not to be happy or to acquire everything that looks good to me. joy? yes, i've been promised that no matter the circumstances. but that means trusting even when the things i want are withheld. even when i have to walk through the hurt or disappointment, knowing that i serve a God who desires to give good gifts and will ultimately give me the BEST gift - IF i wait on His timing and trust and follow and seek His face. and truly, i want His best... i ache for His presence. i want those gifts that He has planned for me, but sometimes it is so hard to trust that whatever He has could be better than what i see. silly, but my finite mind thinks that maybe it would just be best to take matters into my own hands. which (so far in my experience) ALWAYS ends up without satisfaction. why? because my heart only rests when walking with my Creator. He is my portion and my joy and my life. away from Him i'd be wandering aimlessly forever, seeking out something to satisfy this ache in my heart.
it's hard. it hurts to walk away from something that looks good. but in the grand scheme of things, why the heck am i wasting time longing for something that i know isn't for my ultimate good? especially when i could be pouring that energy and passion into something eternal. like loving people without expecting something in return. or praying for the things i have on my heart. or learning to sacrifice for His cause. i want this life to be spent - not on childish emotions wanting what i want, but sacrificing all that i am for His Kingdom.
i'm trying to learn. i'm aching to know what to do with this longing. so here's my last thought, taken from elizabeth elliot in let me be a woman:
"But we do not choose gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of himself..."
"Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small, indeed." - Francis Chan
while i'm not necessarily a 'worrier' (i tend to be pretty happy/optimistic about, well, everything), i do like to be in control. i would like a plan and a head's up and to know everyone's intentions from the get go. so when i see something that i want or get it in my head that i need something... it tends to sorta stick around. while i do trust - i know that HE is in control and has my best on His heart and mind - it's sometimes tricky for me to fully apply this in a practical sense.
so here i go, stressing that maybe things won't work out the way i think they should. maybe i won't get what i want. maybe i'll be hurt or disappointed in the end. it happens (often, for me, because i so often see people for who i think they were made to be instead of who they are currently. anyways...). but how often am i distracted by what i want? i waste emotional energy wishing, all the while forgetting that my purpose here is not to be happy or to acquire everything that looks good to me. joy? yes, i've been promised that no matter the circumstances. but that means trusting even when the things i want are withheld. even when i have to walk through the hurt or disappointment, knowing that i serve a God who desires to give good gifts and will ultimately give me the BEST gift - IF i wait on His timing and trust and follow and seek His face. and truly, i want His best... i ache for His presence. i want those gifts that He has planned for me, but sometimes it is so hard to trust that whatever He has could be better than what i see. silly, but my finite mind thinks that maybe it would just be best to take matters into my own hands. which (so far in my experience) ALWAYS ends up without satisfaction. why? because my heart only rests when walking with my Creator. He is my portion and my joy and my life. away from Him i'd be wandering aimlessly forever, seeking out something to satisfy this ache in my heart.
it's hard. it hurts to walk away from something that looks good. but in the grand scheme of things, why the heck am i wasting time longing for something that i know isn't for my ultimate good? especially when i could be pouring that energy and passion into something eternal. like loving people without expecting something in return. or praying for the things i have on my heart. or learning to sacrifice for His cause. i want this life to be spent - not on childish emotions wanting what i want, but sacrificing all that i am for His Kingdom.
i'm trying to learn. i'm aching to know what to do with this longing. so here's my last thought, taken from elizabeth elliot in let me be a woman:
"But we do not choose gifts, remember? We are given them by a divine Giver who knows the end from the beginning, and wants above all else to give us the gift of himself..."
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