on love and glory...

There's this song I've been listening to on repeat for about a day. I've heard it before many times, but I've been thinking about it much today. A line or two especially stands out, but here are the lyrics:

"If to distant lands I scatter, if I sail to farthest seas, would you find and firm and gather, 'till I only dwell in Thee?
If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after, 'till I only dwell in Thee?
If my heart has one ambition, if my soul one goal to seek: this my solitary vision, 'till I only dwell in Thee..."
(Hymn by Brooke Fraser)

The line that especially stands out to me is this: "If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to look for me? Forfeit glory to come after, 'till I only dwell in Thee?" I know that when I ask those questions of the Lord, the answer is an unhesitating 'yes.'

Forfeit glory?? What?

Somehow, I think we (myself included) sometimes casually throw around the idea that Jesus came to earth. And died. For us. Maybe we've heard it so much that it's just become something that we can be nonchalant about. Maybe it's too distant to be a reality to our hearts. I don't know, but I do know this: I've had a fresh revelation of His sacrifice and love.

So, being a girl, one of the biggest desires of my heart is to be pursued, adored, and loved completely for the person that I am. I want someone to be willing to do anything for me, just because I mean that much. I would like to be fought for and pursued and shown that I'm worth it in a thousand ways. One of the biggest ways that I look for that is in people who are willing to serve me. I know some fantastic people/guys, many of whom will do lots of servant-y things for me. They help me move. They help me pick out electronics I know nothing about. They run errands for me. They make me laugh when I've had a crappy day. Yet how many guys do I know that are willing to serve me no matter what the cost? Zilch. Every single one of those guys is willing to serve when the reward is great... when it's easy and there's very little sacrifice involved. Maybe they get to be the hero, maybe a bunch of people will notice, or maybe there is a sweet payoff in the end. Either way, the definition of "servant" is lacking because the motive is not love. Which is sometimes frustrating to me, because my heart would like to be genuinely served even when it's hard and the rewards aren't immenent or obvious.

But here's the thing: Jesus loves me like that. I know it sounds cheesy and maybe cliche, but stick with me.

He forfeited GLORY. Now that is the kind of servanthood I'm talking about. There is something straight up epic about a kind of love that would bring Him out of heaven... where He was God... to become a baby. Goodbye glory. Goodbye millions of angels and heavenly creatures worshipping you for all eternity. Literally, He was on top of the world, with everything at His feet. And His choice? To give it all up and become a human baby. Hello suffering. Hello pain. Hello entropy and the need to shower. God chose to become totally dependent on others. There is no glory to being a human in a fallen world. And even more so as a baby... goodbye authority of any kind.

God chose diapers.
Over the glory of heaven.
For me.


That kind of love makes me cry.

How can I even consider not giving a love like that my everything?